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Passing through the gates of Hell

June 25, 2021

Yea, though I walk through the valley ofthe shadow of death, as I look up tonight I abandon all hope passing under the arch of hell.  My life has become a world of a shit storm, people always ask me why do you feel so sorry or have such empathy for the homeless the are all alcoholics, drug addicts, choose to be homeless or brought it on themselves.  Let me give all of you who are judging those as you pass by them in your nice auto mobiles, going to the store to buy something new or going back to your nice warm house the stories are all very different but shit things happen to good people.

Case en point I was always taught if your going to invest in something buy, real-estate so the last house I had I lived in for 13 years with no trouble then one day my house began to flood but the strange thing it flooded up the hill to my house, no one else ever got water but me,  after depleting my saving account to have engineers, and all sorts of other individuals come look at my problem the final solution was your house is un-sellable do to the fact that it has a spring running underneath it and you have to disclose your house floods.  With that knowledge and taking the last 4 years of experiencing getting 4 to 8 feet of water in my basement my nerves could no longer take the toll it was raveging on my body so I decided to sell the house.  I owed 160,000 on the house, the house sold for 66,000 yep invest in real-estate so with that loss I now am unable to buy a house for who knows how long but that was ok with me because I was going to go full-time rving and help the homeless.  I retired from teaching, took a loss on my house, bought an RV and have had it for 5 years living in a total of about 2 years, you see I have had major issues from the beginning thinking they would be resolved I continued to hope all would work out but in the mean time I have had to couch-surf, rent rooms from friends beg borrow and plead to stay with people.  I got in a horrific accident coming home from my west coast tour of doing my mission of bring hope to the homeless giving them socks and ministering to them.  I had a blowout causing me to be pulled down into a ravine causing major damage to the undercarriage and to the RV it’s self.  This past year I have been without my RV for 8 months, 3 of those months did not matter to me since I went to Belarus and met the woman of my dreams so I really didn’t care.  I returned after 90 days 3 months for those of you who might not be with it as I write this.  I called to see if it was ready they say it will be another 3 weeks, disappointed I accept their answer called my friend Joyce who has been letting me crash at her house with Charlie my dog for the 5 month leading up to my departure to Belarus, she graciously says yes so I return to her house but she shares with me that she has sold her house and will believing before my RV is ready.  As her time for departure nears my daughter who lives across the street says dad move in with us, so I move my stuff into their house as they are gracious hosts I sleep on the living room couch and Charlie gets to have 2 other friends in their dogs.  Joyce calls me and says that she did not find the house she was looking for and shares that she will be returning to Illinois.  At this point I call the RV dealer and I am told that the parts they need are on order will take another 6 weeks frustrated I hang up and am perplexed as to what can be done.  I look at my total life picture and see nothing but fubar.  I am working with a lawyer on immigration to get my wife over here to the Unites States, and I am informed it will take 2 to 3 years, I have no home and am couch surfing for an undetermined amount of time, I applied for a mortgage to see if I could buy a trailer home and was told I don’t qualify because of my past financial success in realestate.  Determined to not break down I call the RV places ask if I can have the RV while waiting for the parts that are on order, he says yes and I am elated.  Prior to this my daughter had asked me if they could use the RV for the month of August and I could stay at their place watching their 2 dogs plus Charlie, hey another month not have my own place shit at this point who cares so I say yes. In the mean time Joyce comes back to the area calls Courtney and say I have no place to stay, Courtney being the biggest Christian I know say come live with us, we are going to be leaving and 1 more dog after 3 what does it matter so Joyce moves in with her dog.  Today I pick up the RV, Courtney, Brian, and the 3 girls are all packed up in the RV and raring to go.  They are not going for but it will be an adventure nun the less,  they are trying to see what tiny living is all about and seeing the direction God wants them to take.  So we bring the RV up to the place that they are staying park it, hook up the electric go inside and check things out, I find out the TV is cracked and does not work, add that to the list of stuff that needs to be fixed.  We hook up the hose for the water line, charge the line and water starts spewing out from everywhere under the RV nothing is going into the house just everywhere outside running down the seams and pouring out like thats how this should be.  I don’t know if I should sit down and cry, scream at the top of my lungs or chalk it up to the last years of my life being fubar except for Irina my beautiful wife entering into my life.  Anyhow so this is where I am at now standing under the gates of hell with Dante, I have a wife I want to be with and she can’t get here for 2 to 3 years, I can’t get back their for 3 to 6 months, my home is destroyed and I will have to return it and find out what the insurance company wants to do with it since I owe 48,000 on it and just had it repaired for 35,000 and come to find out not much has been fixed and the list is being added onto as we speak, so I will have no house to live in either way it goes for a very extended period of time, we returned back to my daughters house tonight defeated, the kids are saddened and we have Courtney, Brian, their 3 kids, Joyce and myself plus 4 dogs living in a 3 bedroom house so people ask how do people become homeless please look at the above blog.  I’m not going to stay in my daughter house I can’t do it anymore, I don’t have an RV which is my real house by choice that’s not an option, I can’t go back to Belarus which I would do in a heart beat to be with my wife but that option is out, so my options are live in my car or live in my car. So how do you become homeless you ask? circumstances not choices always these were circumstances.

I am not asking for anything from anyone, I don’t want to live with other people in their house or their apartment because its their space, not mine.  I don’t want to rent anything for long-term because I would return to Belarus as soon as they said I could so signing a long term lease would be crazy, and I don’t want to sign a short-term lease and pay out my ass for 3 months plus I have nothing, I am truly a minimalist, I don’t qualify for a loan to buy a trailer home, so I will be sleeping living in may car at this point its the only option.  So how does a retired teacher on a great retirement plan end up homeless you ask ? circumstances….I’m really just sharing this so people wake up and see this can not only happen to them but that they have empathy for those who they pass everyday and ignore, we all have stories just stop and ask we will tell you about them.

Thank you for listening the Sok-Man